In defense of the guys…

I am by no means a “man basher,” and today I’m actually going to defend them a bit. I think females put guys through a lot of unnecessary garbage and that we often judge them too soon.

The other day I was talking with two of my good friends. One of them had been on a date last week. She’d heard from the guy every day, and he said he wanted to hang out again. They made plans for after he met up with some of his friends for a drink. He said it wouldn’t be long. It got to be past 10:30. He hadn’t called or text. She went ahead and told him she was going to go to bed and that they could reschedule. My other friend jumped in, “Wow, if he REALLY liked you, he would have let you know he was going to be there longer than planned.”

You know. All that “He’s Just Not That Into You” crap.

Yes, the guy should have text my friend and said he was going to be out later, that’s an issue of respect and common courtesy. But it’s by no means a reason to totally dismiss the guy. And why on earth would he “REALLY” like her, if they had only been on one date? There’s no rule that says you meet someone once and have to decide at that moment how you feel about them. Some things take time.

I understand the intentions of the book “He’s Just Not That Into You.” But face it, if we applied that principle to any guy who made some silly mistake and took it as, “Oh he’s just not that into me,” then NO ONE would ever find someone to be with. Ever. It’s like hanging your own heart if you strictly follow that principle.

Granted, if a guy hasn’t called in two weeks, if a guy ignores you or if a guy is a flat out jerk to you, well then, duh. He’s NOT that into you. But women seem to take that book to extremes:

“He was only over for two hours? He’s just not that into you.”
“He wanted to play Call of Duty with his boys instead of watch a movie with you? He’s just not that into you.”
“He didn’t text you before noon? He’s just not that into you.”

While that might be true in some cases, there’s no reason to assume it applies to every guy.

Ladies, can we please lighten up? Everyone is so jaded and cynical! I, too, have been through a lot. I’ve been through a lot of things that most people don’t even know about. But that doesn’t mean I have decided that all guys are jerks or dogs.

Poor guys (yes, I feel sorry for them) can’t even say something nice to a girl without one of her friends saying, “Wow. That’s such a line.” I hear this CONSTANTLY.

One of my friends had a guy text her and say, “Good morning gorgeous!” and she said, “Can you believe he said that? That’s a little much.” Don’t we claim to want a guy who compliments us? Should he have said, “Whats up ugly monkey?”

It seems anytime I tell any of my friends that a guy  has said something sweet, they are quick to respond, “What a line!” or “I’ve heard that before. So-and-so used to tell me that all the time.” So, can a guy never say the same thing another guy said? Guys NEVER mean it when they say something nice? I find that hard to believe.

My friend might not ever hear from that guy again, and if a few days go by and she doesn’t, well then yes, he clearly wasn’t into her. But to decide off of this one instance that he clearly doesn’t like her is definitely jumping to conclusions.

Stop over analyzing his every move. Let’s give the guys a break. I see a lot of good guys out there suffering the consequences for what men before have done to a woman. Stop being so cynical. Start expecting GOOD things to happen in your life and they will. Sure some guys ARE jerks and full of crap, but don’t assume they all are or you’ll never find the happiness you desire.

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4 thoughts on “In defense of the guys…

  1. I just want to say thank you this is amazing. Blogging taught me not to treat all women the same even though most women treat us like we are cloned. Thanks for being honest like fat chicks men need love too!!!

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