Hello. My name is Natalie. I suffer from a disease known as “Singleitis.” I have had Singleitis for 32 years. While most people are rid of the disease at this point, I still carry it with me. I am single.
People view single women at my age in one of two ways: the spinster or the party girl.
The spinster’s only social interaction is with people at work, anyone she talks to in line at RedBox, and her cats: Taylor, Alanis and Adele. Hobbies include knitting, reading the classics, crossword puzzles, and playing Jewel Quest until the wee hours of the morning. It’s really no wonder why she’s single.
If a single woman isn’t a spinster, everyone sees her as a party girl. The party girl just wants to have a good time. Her social interaction is with anyone at the bar, anyone on the dance floor, and any guy she brings home with her. She is a drunk who wears little to no clothing even in the dead of winter. It’s really no wonder why she’s single.
So that’s it. If you’re a single woman in your 30’s, you must be one of these two things, right? You’re either a loser with no social skills and that’s why you’re single, or you have too many social skills and are a partier, and that’s why your single.
I see these stereotypes made of single women all the time! Sure there are spinsters and party girls out there, but not all of us fall into one of those categories.
When I was a high school English teacher, if my students asked me what I did over the weekend and I said anything along the lines of, “Met up with some friends for dinner, we went bowling and saw a movie,” they would give me a blank stare, and someone would say to me, “You do stuff?” To which I would respond, “Yeah…. do you think I sit at home and knit on the weekends?” They would all nod in agreement.
On the flip side, when I mention wanting to live in a bigger city because there’s more to do there, some people in my life hear, “I want to live in a big city so I can get drunk and party and make poor decisions that will keep me single for an eternity.”
I am not a spinster, and although I had my fair share of party-girl years, I am not a party girl. I am single, and contraire to popular belief, that doesn’t mean I have a terrible disease. So why do so many people treat it that way?
If you don’t know me and dont’ know my life, don’t make assumptions. If I post a picture on Facebook and I’m holding a glass of wine, don’t assume it’s my fifth glass. If I put up a new blog post, don’t assume I sat at home all weekend by myself writing it. If I am tagged at a dance club in town, don’t assume I’m wasted and going home with a guy. Maybe me and my girls just wanted to dance!
I know we all make assumptions, but let up on the single people a little bit. It’s not easy out here. And if you think it is easy for a single gal in her 30’s to find a man in Fort Wayne, Indiana… you find some guys and send them my way. I know of a few great girls who are looking, and would love to get rid of their disease! 😉