It was one of those Sunday mornings where I really didn’t want to go to church. It was a last minute decision to haul myself out of bed, throw something on, and go.
We sang some songs, listened to announcements and then sang another song. And then, before the sermon, we prayed. The worship leader said he wanted us to take everything to Jesus. Whether it was problems at home, at work, with friends, with family… whatever it was, take it and put it at the feet of Jesus. He’ll take care of it.
Having the wild imagination I was blessed with, an image quickly popped into my head. There everyone was with the things they were bringing to Jesus. I, for some odd reason, imagined Jesus kind of like the Lincoln Memorial. He was big, stoic, and unreachable other than His feet where everyone was putting down their worries and troubles. They quietly placed them at the feet of Jesus and turned and walked away.
But I was different.
In my mind I saw myself with good intentions of simply putting down my cares at His feet, but instead I saw myself putting them down and then pausing. I looked up at President Linco…. Er…. Jesus, and I tapped His foot.
“Don’t miss this one!” I yelled.
He didn’t respond.
“Hey!” I yelled louder, as everyone else continued to quietly give Jesus their struggles. “Hey Jesus! Don’t forget mine!”
It’s probably not very appropriate to yell at Jesus, but in my imagination, I really wanted to be heard. And to be honest, right now, in reality, I’m not feeling heard.
I took a leap of faith when I moved to Uganda a year ago. I took an even larger leap of faith when I moved home a month ago. I have a great education, excellent experience, wonderful references, and yet each and every job I apply for is turning out to be a dead end.
At first I was OK with that. Even after I discovered my dream job did, in fact, exist, and I was definitely qualified for it, spent four hours filling out the application one Sunday, and was told two days later that the position had been filled, I still was encouraged. I believed that God must have something better for me.
I took it to the feet of Jesus and let it go.
But then I interviewed for another job I really wanted, and I haven’t heard anything. I was still hopeful about another job here in Fort Wayne in which I had the perfect background for in journalism and education. I got a letter a few days ago saying other applicants were better qualified. They do not want to interview me at this time.
I am feeling defeated. Useless. Unwanted. Like my education and experience have all been a waste.
And on Sunday morning I took it to the feet of Jesus, or the Lincoln Memorial, and I kept hitting His foot to make sure He was hearing my request, that He was taking my worries for me. The giant stone monument offered no comfort.
After the sermon we sang “I Will Not Be Shaken.” I love God’s sense of humor. The chorus of Tommy Walker’s praise and worship song says this:
So I’ll stand in trust.
I’ll stand in faith.
I will not be shaken.
All of a sudden the picture I had created in my mind became so wrong for so many reasons.
For one, when we take things to the feet of Jesus, He isn’t a giant monument. He literally walked the earth as a human. When we put things at Jesus’ feet, we kneel down before someone our size. We give Him our worries, and then He gives us a warm hug.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
Jesus is not unreachable. He is our friend, and He cares about us.
Secondly, I do not need to yell at God to remind Him of my situation. He knows the struggles I’m facing in finding a job, and He’s got it covered. He is always listening.
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:12-13
Am I frustrated? Absolutely. I feel I have a lot to offer an employer, and I’m getting nowhere. For some reason, God hasn’t placed me in any of the jobs I’ve applied for. Although it’s difficult, I will stand in trust. I’ll stand in faith. I will not be shaken. I’m taking it to the feet of Jesus and putting it before Him.
And He’s not a giant stone monument. He’s holding me tight as I wait for what He’s going to do next in my life.