I don’t like hummus. The texture. The taste. I just don’t like it.
I knew after the first time that I tasted hummus that I didn’t like it. But, everyone around me loved hummus. Let’s face it, nearly everyone on the planet loves hummus. So literally every opportunity I had, I tried hummus. Different brands, different flavors. I hated it every single time.
It took me awhile to give it up and finally admit it. I hate hummus.
And that’s OK.
Hummus isn’t for everyone.
And neither are children.
I once went with some friends from work to an event just for women. A lot of it was about women empowerment. In the venue there was a big wall where women were encouraged to write down the best thing about being a woman. A woman in our group said with enthusiasm, “Duh, we get to have BABIES!”
I felt like crap. I don’t have babies. I don’t even have A baby. I’m 37 and time is running out! But then I realized, I don’t even want to birth children. I’ve NEVER wanted to birth children.
Why was I letting someone’s comment make me feel bad about something I didn’t even want? Why did I keep trying hummus when I knew I hated it?
Simple. I felt like I was missing out on something. I was missing out on this delightful, healthy treat called hummus. I was missing out on babies, even though I have never wanted one.
Sure I had baby dolls when I was a little girl, but I was much more into Barbies. My Barbies traveled the world and had fun jobs. And my mom will tell you, the words, “I can’t wait to have children,” have NEVER come out of my mouth.
A few months at a wedding there was this precious little boy in front of us who kept turning around and smiling. A co-worker next to me said, “Aww! Look at that little…” and she stopped mid-sentence. “Oh I forgot, you hate kids!”
Nope. Not even remotely true. While yes, I’m horrified of holding a newborn, there is not a single bone in my body that has any sort of hatred of children. As a matter of fact, I would love to marry someone who already has children, or to adopt someday. I simply have zero desire to birth children.
There are some people in my life who refuse to accept that. They say I will change my mind. They say I’m missing out. I wonder if they’d say those same things to a woman who physically CAN’T have children. Let’s hope not.
I also have a few married friends who have decided not to have biological children. They might adopt one day, or even welcome foster children into their homes. The backlash from some of their friends and family for not having biological children is heartbreaking.
Please, stop with the “be fruitful and multiply” verses from the Old Testament. Each of those scriptures refer to animals and the Israelites, and were also in specific cases to fill up the earth after creation and after the flood.
And if people are so concerned with their interpretation of “be fruitful and multiply,” what about all the verses about taking care of orphans? DIRECT words from Jesus Christ Himself!
I realize I am in a minority group of women who don’t want to birth their own children.
I realize I am in a minority group of people who hate hummus.
And that’s OK.
There’s nothing wrong with having babies or liking hummus, but there’s also nothing wrong with NOT having babies or liking hummus.
So… what’s your hummus? What is it that is making you feel like a failure or a crappy human being because you don’t like it or want it?
Maybe it’s that you don’t dream of having babies.
Maybe it’s that your children don’t play sports.
Maybe it’s that you don’t travel the world.
Maybe it’s that you don’t make your family eat gluten-free.
Stop letting people make you feel bad for things you don’t even like, or things you don’t even want. You do you, and no one else. You are the only one who has to live your life. Don’t try to fit into the mold that other people want you to fit into.
I don’t like hummus. I’m going to stop trying hummus, even though people keep wanting me to try new flavors and brands.
And I’m going to stop allowing myself to feel bad about not waning to having biological children, even when people flat out tell me, “Yes you do.” Because, you know, they apparently know me better than I know myself.
God didn’t design us to all be the same. And although people may have a problem with it, I don’t want biological children, and I hate hummus.
“She is clothed in strength and dignity.
And she laughs without fear of the future.”