Heart on a String

Wrote this poem a few years ago. I’ll just leave it at that.heart

Heart on a String

Not easy to acquire, this heart inside my chest.

I made you work harder, harder than all the rest.

Life had showed me that my heart is a precious, precious thing.

But even if I gave it away, I’d keep it on a string.

I’d keep it there so I could yank it back, if it ever came to that.

You could have turned out to be a liar, a psycho or even a rat.

But something strange happened, something that’s never happened before.

Even though I gave you all of my heart, I found myself wanting to give you more.

So then I did something crazy, an absolutely unthinkable thing.

I handed you my heart… and I also gave you the string.

My heart was easy to give back, you gave it back to me with ease.

Now you won’t return the string, but I’m begging you to do it- please!

Things are the worst they can be, because you hold that string.

That string, much more powerful than my heart; it’s really a peculiar thing.

Because while my heart tries to move on, while I try to get away,

You lightly tug on the string with the confusing things you say.

If I were strong enough to break the string, I’d do it without question.

I’d have my heart back with its string and you could have no objection.

But now I sit, with just my heart, and the sad songs it begins to sing.

What use is a heart that needs to heal, when you still hold the string?

It’s not very useful, not at all, because all it does is make me blue.

It yearns for love, it pleads for affection, and only yours will do.

Because this game of my heart on a string, totally controlled by you,

It’s only making life impossible; it’s breaking my heart in two.

Perhaps you’re holding on, you hope to get it back someday.

That would be the ultimate reward- for that is what I pray.

It’s unfair to give me back my heart but still you hold the string.

Not asking for a wedding, not even asking for a ring.

A few choices are in front of us, I pray you decide what I think you should.

Say you’ll hand me the string on my heart, or take back my heart for good.

Is the new diet a broken heart?

“Wow she’s lost a lot of weight,” I thought. “She must be working out. Must be eating better. Maybe she’s on Body by Vi.”

Not the case at all. Some people’s stomachs are tied directly to their hearts. Their hearts break, and it’s like their stomachs do the same.

There are a few women in my life right now who have recently lost a significant amount of weight in a short period of time. Not because of eating habits, not because of exercising, but from simply not being able to eat because of a broken heart.

Unfortunately, none of my broken hearts have caused me to lose weight. Recently I had my heart broken, but I didn’t think, “Boo. I hate food.” I guess the good thing is, I also didn’t think about buying out the entire section of Ben & Jerry’s at Kroger. Needless to say, I’m clearly not an emotional eater.

These women who have lost weight look phenomenal, but it’s not healthy. It’s really got me thinking that the new diet is a broken heart. And I find it difficult to tell them how great they look when they lost the weight in such an unhealthy way.

My recent experience with a broken heart led me to join the YMCA and start working out. But to me that’s a healthy way to handle heartbreak. I figured out that working out was how I would deal when one day I was upset, went to work out anyway, and afterwards I felt AMAZING. It was like I didn’t even care about what had upset me earlier.

I hope my choices continue to be healthy. Maybe it’s an age thing, a maturity thing. Dealing with heartbreak as a 32-year-old is definitely different from dealing with it when you’re 23 (whoohoo let’s get drunk!). I just hope these ladies know that once they get back to actually eating, they will gain the weight back unless they make some lifestyle changes.

A broken heart is sad enough as it is, ladies. Don’t destroy your bodies by not eating, or by excessive drinking or any type of drug use, just because of a breakup or some other heartbreak. Get through the heartache with prayer, exercise, and surrounding yourself with great people.