God isn’t your Grandma

grandmatroutWhen you’re a child, and mom and dad say, “No,” who is likely to say, “Yes”? Grandma.

Mom doesn’t let you have ice cream for breakfast. But grandma probably would. Dad won’t let you jump on the sofa, but grandma might.

So, you start to learn that it’s easiest to just ask grandma first. Do whatever it takes- bat your eyes, maybe even shed a few tears, and beg if you have to. Grandma will give in. That’s why grandmas are awesome!

And while God is awesome, too, He’s not your grandma.

God isn’t there to say, “Yes!” to everything you ask Him for.

There’s this belief with many Christians that if you just pray “hard” enough, God will answer your prayers in the way that you like. If you BELIEVE enough, if you just have enough FAITH, God won’t let anything painful happen to you or those you love.

I’m sorry, but that’s nonsense. And it’s not Biblical.

The notion that God will grant you your every wish if you have enough faith is preposterous.

In case you forgot, there’s a story in the Bible of a man who prayed to God about a tough situation. His name was Jesus.

Jesus prayed, to God, three times, that if it was God’s will, He not be crucified. (Matthew 26:36-44)

Again, with emphasis.

JESUS prayed to GOD, THREE TIMES, that if it’s God’s will, He not be crucified.

JESUS. Son of God. The only perfect being to walk this earth, PRAYED for God to take away the task of Him taking on the sin of the world on a cross in an agonizing death.

And God said, “No.”

God. Told. JESUS. No.

And yet there are people who believe that if they just pray hard enough, they will get what they want from God.

It didn’t work for Jesus. Why would it work for you?

Why do people even believe that it would work in the first place?

It’s because we don’t understand what prayer really is. It’s not about begging God for things. It’s not about getting our way. It’s about telling God that we trust Him, and that we want to be in the center of His will, because we know that His will is what’s best.

“Prayer does not change God; it changes me.” 
– C.S. Lewis

True faith isn’t just believing that God can cure your friend of cancer. True faith is believing God is still good after she dies.

Jesus told us how to pray. His example was all about trusting God’s will, forgiving people, and asking God for strength to resist temptation.

God isn’t your grandma. You can’t talk Him into or out of anything. You can’t bat your eyes, shed a few tears, and hope that just maybe He’ll change His mind about something. God’s will is God’s will. Sometimes it’s not what we want, but THAT is where faith steps in. We still believe He is good.

This Easter, I encourage you to remember that the only perfect and flawless person to walk this earth asked God to take the pain away, and God said, “No.” Was there ever anyone who had more faith than Jesus? Jesus’ true faith was ultimately revealed when He accepted God’s will and died on the cross for our sins.

It’s not wrong to let the desires of your heart be made known to the Lord, but remember that no amount of “believing” is going to change His mind and make your will, His.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6

 

What I’m learning about death…

If you had asked me a few years ago what my biggest fear was, I probably would have said, “My parents dying.” Which, if you think about it, is a dreadful “biggest fear” to have considering it will inevitably happen. My biggest fear will come true. My parents WILL die.

While it’s clearly still nothing I look forward to, my views on my parents dying, or anyone close to me for that matter, have drastically changed.

I would guess that I’ve been to about the average number of funerals in my 35 years of life so far. I’ve buried three grandparents and been to the funerals of plenty of family friends.

72057898_130951453673I’ve experienced two funerals that came from tragic deaths. One was that of a 16-year-old I knew who was shot, simply for defending his sister in an argument. The other was for my 23-year-old cousin Rebekah, whose wedding we had all attended a mere nine months earlier. The same family and friends who celebrated her nuptials gathered in the exact same church to say our unexpected final goodbyes.

There’s no question that death brings pain. We’ll miss the person.  We want more time with them. The list goes on and on. Death sucks. It’s difficult for those of us left behind.

And the number one thing “they” say you aren’t supposed to say to someone after a death is, “He/She is in a better place.” Although true if the person was a Christ follower, it doesn’t seem to soften the blow of the death of a loved one. It’s like trying to put a positive spin on someone’s death.

About a month ago I started a new job as the marketing director for a local nonprofit that serves the homeless by providing them food, shelter, and long-term programming. I had been a volunteer there for almost two years prior to that, and there were a number of residents I grew to love. One of them was Cortez.

Cortez was a total sweetheart. He often sat at the front desk and greeted me when I came in to serve breakfast each week. He would tell me about his latest job, and he always asked how I was doing, and always, always greeted me by name.

After an outstanding first day at my new job, late that night I received an email that Cortez had died. I didn’t know how to react. The next day at work people were visibly shaken and upset. I felt the same, but didn’t want to show it too much considering these people knew him on such a deeper level and saw him every single day for years. But on the inside, I was hurting so much.

That same day we had an all-staff meeting with a previously scheduled speaker who was a local pastor. He said many wonderful things to us as we mourned Cortez’s death. He told us that it’s OK to miss him, it’s OK to cry. And he never said, “Cortez is in in a better place,” but he did say this:

“If you for one second think that you are in a better place right now than Cortez, you’ve got it all wrong. He is the one who should feel sorry for us. Things couldn’t be better for Cortez right now.”

I felt like I’d been smacked, but in a good way. Talk about a wake-up call. It didn’t take all the hurt away, but it certainly gave me something to think about. And it certainly gave me perspective. In short, it’s changed everything for me when I think about death.

For most of my life I have feared death. At times it was because I wasn’t sure if I loved God enough to make it to heaven. Other times it was because I feared the process of death and how much it would physically hurt. Other times I feared it for those I love most.

It will sting, it will hurt, it will make me miss them like crazy, but when my parents die, they will be so much better off than I will be. They’ll be in a place without ANY pain and suffering. It’s impossible for us to imagine, but if you’re a Christ follower, you know it’s true.

10366073_1108747122478765_2903832708728791301_nThis weekend we celebrate Easter, the resurrection of Christ after He died on the cross for our sins. This is exactly why we don’t have to fear death. We don’t have to question what happens after our time on earth is over. As Christians, we know that this life is nothing compared to what it will be like in heaven with Jesus.

Please keep it in the back of your mind that when a fellow believer passes on, do not be sad for that person. Don’t for one second think that you’ve got it better than they do.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son,
that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.”
John 3:16