Who wins in the “my life is harder” competition?

enrapture logo with email
When I became a YL distributor and started my own business, “enrapture”, I found out quickly that I was in the minority as a single woman and as a woman with a full time job outside of the home.

I was at my first Young Living seminar back in August when I was surrounded by mothers, the majority of them stay-at-home-moms (SAHMs). We heard from many successful women, all of whom were SAHMs. Every “success story” I’ve read about Young Living distributors has been about SAHMs. So I was curious as to whether there were any great success stories of single women, with no children, who work full time jobs away from the home. I was looking for some encouragement and inspiration!

After I asked my question, I realized what was about to follow- a backlash of, “Stay at home moms work just as hard as people with full time jobs!” and, “Being a mom is a full time job!” And on, and on.

Totally misunderstood (no one could really even give me a good answer because they couldn’t get past what they THOUGHT I said), I crawled into a hole and died. I considered leaving the seminar. I held back tears. Part of me wanted to quit Young Living completely, but I stuck it out.

Then, the other day someone posted a similar question on a Young Living Facebook group. They had a friend who wondered about the success rate of women in Young Living who work full time jobs and are not a SAHM.

WOW. The responses were horrifying. One woman even said, “I know for a fact that stay at home moms work much harder than anyone with a full time job.”

Excuse me? Have you talked to every woman on the planet to know exactly how hard each woman works at her job each day? Who are you to tell another woman that her life is easier than another?

Who wins in this competition of, “My life is harder”?

How about we stop this competition completely?

Most of the time, we all work hard. We all want to be the best at what we do, and it’s a challenge for every woman. Whether its taking care of your children at home, taking care of children at a school, running a business from home, running a business at another location, etc., etc., isn’t it always hard work?

Some people think if you’re single, you’ve got it made. You get to come home from work and relax. You have all evening to enjoy life and not worry about a husband or children getting in your way. Well, do you know how many of us would love to have that “difficulty” of a husband and children? You might be stressed out because of your children and husband, but some of us are alone with our thoughts for hours on end. When is the last time you were alone with your thoughts? It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s actually quite terrifying. So while you’re chasing your children around, trying to get them into bed and yelling at your husband for not fixing the dishwasher, there are some of us wondering why we don’t have exactly what you have. And on top of that, we have to fix the dishwasher ourselves.

Can we all agree that no matter what stage of life we are in, life is tough? As women, we work hard. We have to because there’s often something we have to prove. Instead of getting into a ridiculous debate about whose life is harder, we should focus on supporting each other, building each other up.

You may think you know someone else’s life, but most of the time you have no idea. SAHMs have struggles, and so do women who work away from the home. Both work very, very hard. Married women face challenges, as do single women. Mothers have hurts and broken hearts, just as women without children do.

We should be in this together. Let’s stop passing judgment on another woman’s life and telling her that she doesn’t work as hard as you do. You have no idea the struggles she faces.

And as far as Young Living goes, I am definitely in the minority as a single woman and as someone who doesn’t work at home. But I’m not going to let that stop me from trying to be successful in sharing products that have drastically improved my quality of life. Shameless plug: Follow my essential oil blog HERE! And “Like” my Facebook page HERE!

Why every man should watch a season of The Bachelor…

Every guy on the planet should be forced to watch at least one season of The Bachelor, but not for the reason you probably think I’m going to mention.

I don’t think this because guys could learn some tips about romance (although they could), but instead they can learn some things about women. There’s one huge thing in particular.

Took Ben awhile to learn that Courtney was the devil in the flesh.(Source: www.usmagazine.com)
Took Ben awhile to learn that Courtney was the devil in the flesh.
(Source: http://www.usmagazine.com)

Every single season of The Bachelor there is some sort of villain, some evil b*tch who all the girls hate and the guy totally falls for. This girl always thinks everyone is just jealous of her. And the guy believes it. How could this charming woman be so evil?! Clearly ALL the other women are wrong about her.

Eventually, even if it’s after the entire season is over, the guy finds out the truth- all the women were right- she really is an evil b*tch.

This is one place where reality television really is REAL, because I see this in real life all the time. Open your eyes guys, if there is a female you know that almost every other female you know can’t stand, hates, or strongly dislikes, THERE IS SOMETHING TO IT. The other girls are not jealous, they are not being catty… there is something to it.

“Oh she’s sweet,” they will say. “She means well,” guys will think. “She is just misunderstood. She doesn’t get along well with girls because they don’t understand her.” Um, no, she doesn’t get along well with females because she’s a complete jerk to other women. She would never, EVER reveal her true colors to any of the men in her life.

Learn a lesson here, guys. Open your eyes. Don’t fall for the line, “They are just jealous of me.” Take into consideration that if a lot of people don’t care for her, she’s clearly done some awful things to make people feel that way. No you don’t have to dismiss her from your life, but be careful. Whether it’s a friendship or a relationship with someone, if the majority of the other females in your life see something bad that you don’t, hear them out. They are probably right, and you are being fooled.

When did class go out the window?

Sure I’ve had my “unclassy” days- my days in college where my shirt was a little too low-cut, I drank a little too much, and swore a little too often. And while I’m not the perfect lady at all times, somewhere along the line, I grew up. I found class and most of the time, I think I exude it.

What is class? “Elegance of style, taste, and manner” according to the dictionary. To me, class is not advertising the fact that you’re a slut. It’s not dressing like a whore and yet walking around complaining that guys only want one thing. Having class is having confidence, it’s being funny without being vulgar, it’s being sexy without being trashy.

From my experience, I’ve seen that class is NOT a desirable trait in women for most men around here.

Most of my female friends understand what class is. They are beautiful, educated, smart, funny, driven women who would make any man happy. But that’s not what most men appear to be looking for. I see guys being attracted to trashy, potty-mouthed women who wear next-to-nothing anytime they step out on a Saturday night.

I’m not hating on these women- that’s their choice if they wish to act like that and dress like that. No one should hide who they really are. I’m just curious as to why men are no longer attracted to a woman with class. A woman with class isn’t always a prude. Women with class can be sexy without being trashy- isn’t that desirable?

Apparently not. I see who I thought were smart, classy men chasing girls who post half-naked pictures of themselves on Facebook and tasteless Twitter updates.

If having some class is what is keeping me and some of my friends single, then so be it. We’re not a bunch of no-personality-having prudes or anything. I’d guess I’d rather wait around for a man who desires a woman with class than worry about the ones chasing women with none.

Ladies- what do you think? And guys, feel free to shed some light on this. If guys are going for women with no class, is it because they are only looking for fun, and not a serious relationship? Or is it something else?